Low Carb: Bacon Maple Monkey Bread

Low Carb Bacon Maple Monkey Bread

Yes, I know...
*THAT..... is some sexy!*

First:  Nods to "Cleochatra/ Jamie Van Eaton. Her Blog with great recipes including her Oopsie Roll Revolution Roll recipe:http://yourlighterside.com/

Recipe: Preheat oven to 350 F
            Cook Bacon, Crumble and set aside.
             Use 1 tsp bacon fat (or butter) to grease a small Casserole dish or a Bread Pan.
            Line one or two large cookie sheets with Parchment Paper
 Separate 6 large eggs
Add 1/2 tsp Cream of tartar to Whites and beat to stiff peaks.

Beat yellows to with a fork and add:
    2 tsp Cinnamon
    12 tsp Nutmeg
     7-8 drops Stevia
     1 pkt sweetener of your choice.

Fold yellow mix into Beaten Whites 1/3 at a time, folding gently to incorporate. Place in mounds roughly 3-4" diameter on Parchment Paper.
    Bake 30 minutes at 300F.
    When done, cut into 1" Cubes

In a large Mixing Bowl,
        Put remaining 3 Whole Eggs in a bowl.
        Add and Mix in:
           2 tsp Cinnamon
          1/2 tsp Nutmeg
           7-8 Drops Stevia
           1 pkt of sweetener of your choice

Toss Cubed Rolls and 1/2 of Crumbled Bacon to coat in the wet egg mix. Press into greased casserole dish. Top with remaining Bacon. Bake at 300F for 45 minutes.
      Top with Sugar Free Maple syrup and Butter.
  Serves 4 at 4.1 Carbs per serving.

  Carbohydrate Breakdown for Total ingredients in recipe as follows:

9  Large eggs divided                     5.4
1/4th teaspoon Cream of Tartar-    0
4 teaspoon Cinnamon divided-       4
1teaspoon Nutmeg divided-           1
6 strips Thick Cut Bacon -             0
2 pks sweetener divided-               2
Stevia 14-16 drops divided            0
Sugar Free Maple Syrup-               0
Butter-                                           0
total-                                              12.4
Serves 4 at-                                    4.1 Carbs each

      *This recipe is only moderately sweet, before adding Sugar Free Maple Syrup at the end. I tried it with double the sweetener, and it was too sweet for my taste, but may be better to others. It may be good with varying amounts as per your taste.
     *Other options like using more sweetener packets or topping with cream cheese will add carbs, so use as per your needs.
    *This makes 4 very hearty servings, and could easily be split into 8 servings for a light breakfast.
     *Can be microwaved four up to 30 seconds, for a single of the 4 serving size.

Watch my instructional video here below or Larger Here!!!

(and if you like, please subscribe to my Youtube Channel!

Did I tell you you're beautiful when you're eating bacon today? ;)
.

B.Y.O.C.B: Be Your Own Cock Block and Other Talents That I Have!

How To Be Your Own Cock Block on Facebook (or other Social Media): 

 ***Simply re-post this blog as your own notice.***

                         You're welcome! :)             

General Notice for Cleanup: Anyone approaching me for romantic, sexual, political, moral, immoral, poor-me, nobody understands me, if they just did it my way, "Do you ever paint nekked?" "I have a camera/pencil/one eye/bifocals/a seeing eye dog/cat/gerbil, so will you pose nekked?", or religious (it's all the same thing to me) reasons will be virtually gutted and fed their own entrails especially if they are militant vegetarians/potheads/Baptists/hula-hoop-competitors/those with "open or complicated" marriages/relationships who are baffled that I'm not "givin' it up,"  or anyone who read an article online and therefore thinks it must be true, anyone trying to "cure" autism, athlete's foot, cancer, bad breath, wars, or jock itch with cannabis, green beans or carrots, or anyone promoting any cause having to do with anyone named Trump or McCarthy (Same comb-over/different shoes) with "special insights" that are exactly what the next one says. Lack of originality will get you virtually slapped, not by me personally, but by any number of unfortunately homely cousins who don't wash their hands, pick their noses, and who will think, "You sure have a purdy mouth, boy!"

"Whuh?! Why is she here then?"

 I am glad you asked!

It's crazy, I know, but I'm here for work and family purposes. Imagine my gall!

You see, I regularly promote a forum that I moderate at painting.about.com and I promote youtube videos that I make money off of. Insanely hoity! I know. 

  I'm also here to have regular contact with my children, and several friends. Mostly, I post silly, funny, uplifting, thoughtful posts, and I try to include inspirational items as I find them.

 To the dismay, angst or shock of some, none of that means I'm trying to get laid. I know! Who would have "thunk it?" Nonetheless, that is the ugly truth of it.

  Thanks for reading! Later days and better lays for you and others who may be suffering, because of people like me who are simply being unreasonable/hard to get/not a chance in hell giving/taken to vows of celebacy/getting "it" in other places/ya can't touch this/ Yes! But not with you!/Not interested/Had it removed/or any number of reasons we're not here for anything but work or family/friendships.

  Hugs and kisses! <3 xoxoxo

me
P.S. If all else fails or if they bore, simply click the Block Button!

Lion Heart in Midnight Flame

Tired in a dark forest of life, he found me, and found something of hope. I had little left, but for him I would. I was going, but I stayed long past life's rent was due. We danced round night fires and such was something of heaven. He bid me, "Come! Play in the sun!" and I can't. I stay cloaked by wood's edge while he goes and waves to me. And I have something of joy to see him do the things I cannot. And I watch him, the sun in me, play in the two o'clock sky as if it were easy.
   Sometimes, though I try to stay grateful, I come to self pity. I fall to envy those who can enjoy the sun. I hear them speak of the beauty of day break, and play of summer, but I can't. My skin does not like the sun. The dark side of the Lion Heart is the Destroyer. The giver of life in Spring is the taker in August, and the Wheel spins peaceful complete. What was once play is poison, though my bones at times long for it's warmth. I've had to see the beauty of night, because of because of this. I look at photos streaming rays, and I remember fondly, but now the Moon is my Sun. closed blinds, because the older I grow, the more sensitive my eyes to light, but I remember greens and light so bright it washed even reds from sight.
   I have candle beside me, a small bit of sun. We're one. I take to my brushes to create light, and maybe the sun was in me all a long. Maybe I burn enough within, and that's why the night is no longer dark, but full of color and often warm. I am not like all, but I am like many who, brush in hand see through our fingers and feel the sun in people, stars in eyes, light from a breath.
   We ecstatically wretched, the vampiric servants, the portraitists, steal or borrow only bits of souls, touches of light, when too much is too hot, and issue eternity through the life's blood of tearful brushstrokes. Free-falling, we descend into wells of such sweet agony, that we would do it again and again, It's all we have, or all I do, and in our own little by death, by little, each time more gone than the time before, we see you breathe, and for a moment together we breathe, and though I may go one day, taking a name with me that is not who I was, simply drawn on your shoulders, I joy in knowing you will live forever in light.
Do not remember me. Leave me the rose amber glow of shadows. Remember you were loved, and give it away as though your life depended on it.
 It does.
  As for Death, Enough foreplay. Either come and get me, or the get out of my way. ...
Waiting a moment,
My candle still burns. I thought as much.
Dearest Companion, I'll run to you when I'm ready. Step aside, or make yourself useful.
Brushes need washing, there are yet more dances in the night, and I have painting to do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClQcUyhoxTg

tina jones

With Love, from a Recovering Addict, Alcoholic

Thank you, beautiful anonymous person who just might have saved my life last week, and I didn't know I needed it. I got to spend time with someone so deep in addiction that, like I used to, they believed their own fantasies. In bitterness, terror and loneliness that only another addict knows, you took me back over 15 1/2 yrs, and I got to sit across a table from me, and hold my own hand while your face tried so hard, so bravely to hide pain behind a forced smile. 
Thank you. 
My heart breaks for those still out there. One, ten thousand pound foot in front of the other for all of these years. I can't go down with you, but I will...I will be here when you're ready to climb out. Thank you for reminding me where I come from.  Never alone, and like I was, though you've been told, you don't know it, really know it yet, and intelligence won't get you there. Reach and see, once you've nothing left to lose. I know it's dark, but I promise there is a dawn. An in the coming weeks or year when (Hyde only sleeps in me.) I think about using, I'll think of you, and just maybe I'll get another 24 hours to live in freedom, another chance to laugh, or cry, to love, to see my children, to dance...Thank you for saving my life when that moment comes. They call it, "Insanity," and how right they are, while we call it, "Logic or Reason" to the best of chemically altered thinking. I pray your hopeless, helpless moment comes soon, that it may end, and I pray a moment of clarity when none of my words will matter, and the most powerful ones ever uttered will come from you, "O.k." With love from the other side.
 Anonymous me.
  "..and I've heard myself cry, "Never Again!" broken down in agony just trying to find a friend." Pink
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ3ZM8FDBlg

Ah, Spring: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor!

May I share? Here it goes(I can't stop myself!)
     Spring means one thing to me: Outdoor bugs will come to life, and they want to bond with me. It is March 20, and where I live that means a ground thaw. So it begins...

     I woke just now from a nap, grabbed my oversized Tshirt and put it on. Damned tag itched, but you just deal with it, acrobatically scratch it out of place, until it's pleasantly un-tucked from shirt, and go about your business, or mine, or something. I began brushing my teeth when I saw, over half the size of my ring finger, yes! A large black, shiny water bug out of the corner of my eye on my left shoulder. I took the brush out of my mouth, and smacked the Pterodactyl off, but couldn't find the damned thing!
   I dropped the toothbrush, and I might say the vibrating brush beating the sink, added a certain, "Je ne sais qua?" to the situation. It was loud! I got the shirt off by getting my right arm out carefully, just incase the dragon bug from Hell was still on me somewhere, then slipping my head out, finally the left arm, and dancing about like a three year old future princess on Meth, attempting to get away from the BEAST, and I didn't even know where it was!
   Having, "Jitter-bugged" my way out of the bathroom, I peeked back in and saw Golliath, holding on under the lip of my vanity table, and I hopped passed it to grab a pretty pink (Seriously?) fly-swatter/world-saver!
   Nabbing my (bad-ass for it's color) weaponry, I landed a nervous if exacting blow to the six-legged DEATH LOBSTER, and crushed the nasty guts out of it.....on my white vanity table. 
.
   Victory is a bittersweet mistress, indeed.
(Cue Taps)
tina jones

I Believe in RED

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”

                                                                                               Audrey Hepburn

Probably one of the sweetest quotes I see fairly often, and read it always with a smile. There's an elegance and innocense to her in words and visage that becons the "girl" in most all of us. 

  I can't help, when seeing these words, reflecting on what "I believe," and if it might have any use to others in their own self searches.

  I figure I might as well give it a go! :)

Ahem..Is this thing on?  Testing, one, two...and

   I believe in RED, Pink was o.k. when I was two, but I want a color that, by God, will commit to being a color. Stand up and say, "I am Red! Deal with it!" I believe that if I've stopped laughing for any calculable length of time, someone needs to hit me with cardiac paddles or toss dirt on me. I believe in kissing. I believe in kissing here, here, here, and here and here too. I believe that the strongest people are those who fall apart on a regular basis. I believe that happiness is about being true to ourselves, and if that means lipstick or sweating in a garden, working at a factory, nursing a child, teaching the deeper meaning of haiku, or pole dancing, you are probably absolutely beautiful doing it!. 

  I believe in passion. I believe that potatoes, pasta and rice were invented by people to cunningly take up space on my plate where bacon is meant to be. I believe in one inch thick steaks without trimming the fat, and I believe in salad mostly so people don't yell at me. I believe I'd better plan for tomorrow, but live here and now, and now I'd like Sam Elliot to be here. I need a cook. 

    I believe there are secrets in dandelion fluff. I believe that amazing paintings are waiting in paint tubes, but they are not going to squirt themselves out on to a canvas. I believe in cutting the elastic tops off of over-sized sweat socks, so they slouch properly. I believe the best part of the day is that thirty minute stretch thing to find the right spot that I have to do when I climb into bed at night. I believe that mustard and pickles should be a food group.  I believe that the sky shows off every evening in colors just to make me envious enough to dream of painting them. I believe in cheese. 

     I believe Robin Williams is probably the best lay on the planet. I believe in wearing big skirts and spinning around to watch them become aloft. I believe there is music in the stars, and that it's blasphemy not to dance to it. I believe in feeling the artist's being in a clay bowl that I can hold. I believe sometimes when I don't know what to do, my spirit leaps from my body to silently tell some gloriously wrinkled and tired woman or the man that pushes his back to feed his children, "You are beautiful!" I believe when I put my fingers in running water, it should always be with reverence, and the water enjoys touching me. i believe in never using hair spray, lest I miss the combing of a breeze.

     I believe in cruise control and loud music in the car, and singing poorly. I believe the sound of whale's song is beautiful but nothing compares the sounds of my children and grandchildren. I believe in acting sillier than my grandchildren. I believe that, because that's not too much of a challenge, it must mean I'm gifted!
 I believe sometimes cookies and pickles make a great breakfast. I believe it's simply better to love, and you don't have to wait for a person or circumstance to do it. You're already right there waiting to be loved by you. I believe, "Witch Hazel" is a funny thing to say. I believe cursing is necessary to maintain the dignity of a conversation at times. Knowing those times is a challenge. I believe that everything and everyone I see is mine and part of me, and loving you taught me how to love me. 

Finally, I believe in knowing when to stop. I just haven't learned it yet.

tina jones

"Git 'Er Done" According to the Zodiac

This is done in humor and with great affection for all signs. 

Aries: Let's go, let's go, let's go! We have stuff to do!

Taurus: Let's talk about it. Fine! I'll do it myself.

Gemini: I really think we should do it this way, and I really think we should do it that way too.

Cancer: I will let you know when it's time to do it, but first, have a casserole.

Leo: I am not doing a thing, until you take this balloon.

Virgo: I have to get this done now. Time is running out!

Libra: Let's be rational, and get this done together.

Scorpio: What's your real reason for wanting to get this done?

Sagittarius: I can get this done and dance while doing it.

Capricorn: With a steady, deliberate approach, I will get this done.

Aquarius: I'm going to have to get this done myself, for the sake of humanity, aren't I?

Pisces: What does, "Git 'er done" mean existentially?

Winks! (and don't forget your balloon!)
tina jones