(Messing with the Masters: Einstein (My Theory of Everything)

What is up with geniuses and their hair?
That question, I may never be able to answer, but the Theory of Everything has not proven to be a big problem. Albert had his relativity. Others have pondered their Everythings, and if you listen long enough, most people have a Relative with a Theory. Ahem.




E = mc<sup>2      

    Isn't that nice? There it is, all succinct and pretty. Albert Einstein just used a few symbols, right? How very tidy, this Theory of Relativity. It almost makes me want to break every piece of chalk and toss them over my shoulder, but not quite.
   The boy was stuffy! There, I said it.</sup> 

<sup>The equation means: 

Energy= Mass x the speed of light squared. 

     You'll be dealing with some fairly large sums in that last number alone, then multiply it by the Mass of whatever, and that will equal the amount of energy in the object. 
So you want to know how much Energy is in your golf ball? The mass of a golf ball = the weight of a golf ball. Mass=Weight (As long as you're on Earth, so that the gravity remains the same, but that's not important at the moment. I mean, where are you in particular planning to play golf? Neptune? No.)
To simplify, the Mass/weight of a golf ball is roughly 45.9 grams, so

E=45.9 x C2....
     Pretty easy so far! Now, what is "C?" C is a symbol for the Speed of Light, and the Speed of Light is a simple number of meters per second, and light trucks along at 299,792,458 meters per second (m/s). That number is squared, which means it is multiplied by itself. 299,792, 458 x 299,792, 458= 8.993547636528176 and 16 more digits until it's resolved. Let's simplify that to 8.99, because frankly, I 'm tired. Now let's plug that in to our damned equation.

E=45.9 x  8.99 
     Nice! All we have to do is multiply those last two numbers to figure out approximately how much energy is in a golf ball, because we freaking NEED to know that! Ready?

E= 412.641 (roughly)
      Yay! Einstein! There's still the hair problem, but can't you just feel the improvement in your life surging through your veins?



No?
Me neither.
   I love Albert, O.k. mostly for his hair, but really I love him. I just think he needed to calm down. He was so earthy. I mean he made this equation using not only Earth's gravity, but Earth's scientific language of numbers, and outside of the world is that going apply in the Pleiades?  
   Small minded, I'd say. I'm not sure what Relativity has to do with Everything, or if it should be included as a step along the way, but I find it lacking in awe-flavor as it stands alone. There comes a time, as much as I adore numbers, that they fall short of explaining to my sense of wonder.




   I made an attempt to form a "Theory of Everything" myself a number of years ago, and I encourage you to form and reform your own theories as well. After all neither I nor Albert, nor anyone else with a hair problem can see through your eyes. Here's my go at it.


"Everything is as it is, unless it's not."

   I liked it. It seemed to cover Everything, but upon close inspection, I find it longer than Einstein's theory. Couple that with the fact that I also have more obtuse hair, and I felt the need to be more concise. Attempting to remain as scientific as I care to, I seek to improve upon any assumption I might have about any thing. I'm in a state of learning, after all. I figured it would be safe enough to take the, "Unless it's Not" off the end, and that left me with a more elegant, 

"Everything is as it is."

    Nice but Albert's is still shorter! There is also the danger of it being categorized with the whiny, defeatist, "It is what it is" drone. I can't have that, so I took it a step further.

"Everything Is" 

    That's going to produce any number of statements like, "Unicorns do NOT exist." If you or anyone or anything thought it, it exists in the form of thought. If it's not been thought yet, the seed of thought now exists, because I just wrote it. I think it possible that Everything is currently existing in the form of thought, but that is for another discussion. Research, "Holographic Universe" if you must, or if it's to your liking, consult Ed. 

"Reality  is built out of thought, and our every thought begins to create reality." Edgar Cayce.

 Back to the equation at hand. It's still not as pretty as Albert's equation, so I decided to drop one word.



"Everything" 

     I had it! By golly there it is, my Theory of Everything. Once I realized it was a redundancy of the word, "Everything" my heart sank. "My heart?" hmmm. I decided to try dropping the other word.

"Is"

  The word means, "To Be," and vestiges of Shakespear's question crept in on me! Maybe the question all along wasn't what Everything was but what action does it take? It exists, "To Be" went through my mind again in various forms: It "Is," Those "Are," and I was reminded of a biblical, "I Am." Everything was in the act of Being, and it seemed to say, "Be." With that I had my Theory of Everything even shorter than Albert's. 

"Be"

   Maybe the numbers are good and right, and maybe the poets were. Then again maybe there is poetry in numbers, and it's all the same thing anyway. Everything wasn't an object outside of me to be named or calculated. It was Everything including me. In oneness, we Are. I Am...Simply Be.
   With that the numbers and words faded into nothing but existence, being-ness, and how amazing that is, to simply...</sup>

                                         "Be"

 

<sup>(Are my numbers wrong? Probably. Will it cease to Be? Nope. As simple as that, there was my, "Theory of Everything."...and there are those who insist I think too much. smiles.)

tina jones</sup>

Dream: A Memory of a People

   I entered the pristine hall of education where stood an angled to the waist display of glass. Under the glass was an array of bits of flattened, physical material with what appeared to be inscriptions of a sort. Gloved in the common electrically charged white silk, I could move the bits through the glass. An electronic instruction at the top of the glass encouraged visitors to attempt to reassemble the puzzle if they like, it having stumped scientists. I moved a few bits through the glass that transferred my finger movements to the material as any oils from the hands would have destroyed it, and any pressure would have crumbled it.

    To the left approached a museum keeper. He was very docile and lizard-like. He nodded my presence and tasted the air around my face politely. Next to him a concierge offered the usual refreshment of a liquid pack applied to the skin in a special metallic pouch that enabled osmosis while avoiding oral contamination. I was fine, so I declined, turning my head to the left, lowering my chin and temporarily closing my eyes in respect as did they, before they walked along.

  I returned to my curious puzzle and wondered what the material was. I moved a few more bits that might sit against each other well. A scrolling black screen on the right said that this belonged to an ancient civilization where the inhabitants believed themselves to be gods. It had been peaceable at times, but they were a driven people of great pride. They'd been great conquerors, and traveled to new lands on fantastic ships, even to new worlds.

    They had educational systems, and there was a photo of a red, near round talisman. It seemed to have been some sort of idol, perhaps for a god of education as it set importantly on a large desk with the word, "Teacher" under it. "Teacher?" I'd have to research the word, but that would wait. Further reading revealed the idol was actually eaten with the mouth. I shuddered in fascination at the barbarism. I looked again and wondered if it was done for hallucinogenic properties or if it enhanced learning abilities. Nonetheless, it was treated as deserving of a prominent spot.

  Scrolling and pausing to move a piece now and then, I read that this civilization had become greedy, and they had conquered those who were once allies. Horrifically, once there was nothing left to conquer, it turned in on itself. 

    Wars within wars, not just a civil war. There were no boundary lines and hundreds of sides. Belief systems, educational systems, recreation...it all left, and greed turned to hunger as fear grew. No enemies and no allies....Even those that had enough didn't believe they had enough, and the justification of any act to gain and maintain control was rampant. Chemicals were widely dispersed often causing more rage and fear than they were supposed to treat, People resorted to trying any chemical natural or otherwise in order not to feel. Financial systems and government seats fell under rubble when those they'd conquered saw their weakness, and the backlashes began, as they took back what had been rightfully theirs.

   There was mention of relation to a place called, "Rome" and some stones were said to have, "Greek" origin. There was a copper goddess, at least that's what the few pieces they could locate seemed to be. Archaeological excavations had found this substance with the inscriptions, and they'd hoped there might be some answer to who these people were to be so focused on themselves and not the whole, and how so great a people were gone. A few more pieces came together, and I could make out three words...

"We, The People"

"We," I wondered. They must have forgotten.

tina jones